We all think to ourselves when we’re on the toilet. You don’t want to admit to anyone what you’re really thinking about. I’m not afraid to share with the world the thoughts going through my mind every morning.
1. “Maybe I shouldn’t have had that coffee.”
I don’t know what it is about coffee, but it really gives me an unpleasant experience in the bathroom. I know you fine readers would not like to hear the details. Why does it have to be so delicious?
2. “Why do people bring reading materials with them into the bathroom to take a dump?”
I’m fairly certain that if you have time to read in the bathroom while taking a shit you either have a bad constipation problem or you are avoiding going back to doing whatever it was you were in the middle of before going to the bathroom. I will admit, I’ve sent many a tweet or text while in the bathroom, but reading trashy celeb gossip mags is not my bathroom forte.
3. “I wonder what [insert name of crush here] is thinking about right now”
This one doesn’t have much to do specifically about going to the bathroom, since I think about it almost all of the time, but sitting on the toilet alone makes me much more vulnerable to the person I’m currently crushing on. I’m sure you can relate. The toilet stall is a very vulnerable, evil place leaving you with only your thoughts to keep you safe.
4. “I’m glad I got that out of my system. When am I eating next?”
The best part about dropping one is that you now have more room for more food. Seriously, what is better than a post-crap snack? I really don’t know.
These are the things that cross my mind while taking a dump. Feel free to comment below with your own personal mid-dump thoughts.
